


For Now

by siriusRocky0425



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26218690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriusRocky0425/pseuds/siriusRocky0425
Summary: "You seem good, you seem comfortableMore than when you used to be with meHonestly, it hurts a littleThough I’m smiling in front of youBaby i’ll be OkayThere’s so much to say but I’ll stop here.."Minhyuk haven't seen Bin ever since they broke up 2 years ago and now Bin wants him back.
Relationships: Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Park Minhyuk | Rocky, Moon Bin/Park Minhyuk | Rocky
Comments: 11
Kudos: 23





	For Now

**Author's Note:**

> so this is a first. :) some of the lines here are just stuck in my head for quite some time now and i just gave in and write something along it.. ♡

Minhyuk couldn't believe what he just heard as he stares at the man in front of him.

"You.. You want me back?!" he finally said as Bin reached out to take his hand and he immediately moves it away.

"Minhyuk," Bin mumbles as he stared at Minhyuk's eyes pleadingly.

"No, Bin.. No.." there's a mix of anger and pain in Minhyuk's voice, "Why now??" he didn't wait for Bin to answer as he continued, "when you left me, when you asked me to let you go.. i've always hoped and prayed you'd come back to me.." tears are now falling from Minhyuk's eyes. He paused to look up, willing the tears to go back up his eyes..

He's cried enough tears for this man, he thought, this man that had been his bestfriend since he was a kid, this man that had given him love and also gave him pain, and now this man is standing in front of him saying he wants him back.

"I'm sorry Bin, but I'm way past that hoping now.." Minhyuk, having gathered enough strength to stop himself from crying even more, looks at Bin straight in the eye. He could now see Bin crying, tears continuously falling from his eyes.

"Hyuk, i love you.." Bin started, "I'm sorry for leaving you back then, for asking you to let me go.."

"love? you love me?! You left me Bin.. You asked for an out." Minhyuk started to raise his voice at Bin who broke eye contact with him and dropped his head.

"but you let me Hyuk.. you just let me.."

Bin is full-on sobbing now and Minhyuk couldn't help but soften at the sound. He reached out, hands placing on Bin's cheeks to guide his head up to look at him again. He managed to lift Bin's head up, looking through his red-rimmed eyes tugged something in his heart, this is the man he cared for so much about back then, he sighed, remembering the day he and Bin broke up.

"Bin.." Minhyuk started but Bin looked down again, "Bin.. look at me" he urged and Bin was forced to look him in the eye with his hands still on Bin's cheeks.

"Do you want to know why I just let you walk away?" he paused, not really waiting for an answer but Bin nodded anyway so he continued,

"it's your eyes Bin.. at that moment, i looked into your eyes and it's like they're screaming how you need me to let you go.." Minhyuk didn't even bother stopping his tears at this point..

His and Bin's relationship, it was far from perfect but they were happy. Minhyuk thought back then how lucky he was that he found Bin, his best friend turned lover. They've known each other for so long and Minhyuk was happy, he was content.. So when that day came, the day when Bin said they should break up, his world shattered right then and there.

There are a lot of things he tried to forget about that day, but one memory always stood out so clear in his mind- Bin's eyes, his pleading eyes. That was the first time he saw that look in Bin's eyes, the look that shows how he was unwanted by the person who owns his heart. Back then he didn't even bother asking 'why' or 'what happened', he just wanted to escape from that look, never wanting to see it again.

Minhyuk searched for Bin's eyes, "it's like you're suffocating and you just need me to give you air by letting you go.." his voice full of pain..  
"and at that time, fuck- i loved you so much, i'm willing to give it to you even though it breaks my heart.." his eyes are now blurred by his tears, this moment breaking his heart all over again, "..even though it hurts so fucking much." Bin gasped as Minhyuk lets himself go. He did this to him, he hurt the only person he's ever loved. He held Minhyuk's arm and took a deep breath to compose himself. He had been ready back then to answer Minhyuk's 'whys' but none came.

"We were on the verge of breaking down Hyuk, both of us. We've been together for so long that we became so comfortable, so comfortable that it broke my heart because we slowly took things for granted, at one point it felt like we stopped putting in effort for our relationship.. It ate me up and yes, it suffocated me." Bin said between tears, his lips now trembling as he recounts the reason he asked for an out in their relationship.

Bin hugged Minhyuk tightly, apologizing, "Hyuk, I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.." Minhyuk cried harder after hearing Bin's words but welcomed the hug, it was warm, it's what he needs right now, all the confessing made him feel weak, emotions washing all over him.. Bin slowly caressed his back to calm him down.

For a moment they just stood there hugging under the stars, listening to each others hearts and crying to their hearts content..

Minhyuk was the first one to break the hug and they settled down on one of the bench in Minhyuk's neighborhood park they were at. They agreed to meet there as Bin said he really needs to talk to Minhyuk. Now here they are, eyes both red from crying, meeting again after their breakup 2 years ago. Luckily the park is somehow deserted since it's already nearing midnight.

"What changed Bin?" He turned to look at Bin properly again while the older starts wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"What do you mean?" Bin asked.

As much as Minhyuk still truly care for the man standing in front of him, he still couldn't be happy about him wanting him back all of a sudden.

"What changed? After almost 2 years of hearing nothing from you, what made you realize you want me back all of a sudden?" Minhyuk said, bitterness slowly coming back to his tone.

"i've missed you Hyuk.. i missed my bestfriend," there's so much more Bin wanted to say but Minhyuk cut him off.

"No Bin.. Is it because I'm dating somebody else now?! Is that it? You only realized you still love me and you want me back because you're jealous?!" Bin's eyes widened at Minhyuk's words..

"You- you're dating someone else now?!"

Minhyuk was taken aback, all this time he thought Bin knew. He thought that was the reason this was all happening.

"I- I thought you knew.. why else would you want me back?" Minhyuk said, biting his lips, confusion all over his face.

"2 years of cutting contact with you," Bin pauses ashamed of admitting it and he continued, voice soft as a whisper, "how would I know?"

Minhyuk thought about Myungjun, their common friend, surely Myungjun may have mentioned it to Bin but Bin interjects his thought process, "If you're thinking about Myungjun, no. He haven't told me anything," Bin looked at Minhyuk's eyes for a moment then looked down when he said "we had an agreement not to ever mention you whenever we talk or meetup"

Bin suddenly didn't know what to do.. Will he just take back everything that he said? But he knew in his heart that he really love Minhyuk, a little too late but it is real. He thought back to what Minhyuk said, "Why would you say why else would i want you back if not for jealousy?!" Bin said, appalled.. "i want you back because I love you, I really do.. not that it matters now.." He felt so vulnerable and it's like his knees are giving up on him when he saw Minhyuk give him a weak smile. Minhyuk held his face lightly.

Bin's tears fell automatically feeling Minhyuk caressing his cheeks and he asked, "Are you happy?"

Minhyuk smiled and nod. "Do you love him?"

"I do, Bin.. I really do.." At this, Minhyuk let go of Bin's cheeks to hold Bin's hands with both of his. "Bin, what we had, it's magical. I never regret a single thing, God blessed me with a best friend eversince I was a little boy and I'm so grateful, you made me the happiest, growing up." Minhyuk offered another smile, looking at Bin's eyes as he continued, "You will always be special, you've taught me so many things, you taught me how to love and accept myself, you taught me pain too and despite it all i'm still thankful because through you, I've learned so many valuable lessons in life," he squeezed at Bin's hand, "i love you, i will always do, well not romantically anymore but as a friend, a best friend"

Despite his tears, despite all the pain he's feeling, Bin understood Minhyuk's every word and he finds himself holding on to Minhyuk's hand tightly. "I missed you," he smiled weakly, voice shaking through the tears, "and I really really want you back." Minhyuk started to open his mouth to answer when Bin put a finger on his mouth to shush him. "but i won't do it on the expense of someone else's heart, and besides, that someone else owns your heart now." Bin saw Minhyuk let out a relieved breath at his words and smiled geniunely. "Ah i understand you now, how you can see someone's feelings through their eyes.." said Bin as he chuckled lightly and looked straight in Minhyuk's eyes and continued, "I can see it in your eyes, you're happy, and that's more than enough for me after all the pain i've put you through"

Minhyuk hit Bin's shoulder lightly, "Don't blame yourself too much, we both had our misgivings. I may have hated you at first of course but i know better now and you did the right thing for the both of us, I'm sorry too, for everything.. but I'm alright now. I'm happy." Minhyuk paused, "I want you to be happy too Bin.. I want that for you, I'm sorry if it's not with me but-"

"What's his name?" Bin couldn't help but be curious.

"Hm?"

"The one who makes your heart happy, what's his name?" Bin saw Minhyuk's smile reached his eyes as he answered,

"Dongmin."

 _Ah..Dongmin, what a lucky bastard.. He better not fuck it up like me.._ Bin thought..

"Does he know you're meeting me?"

"Yes. He knows about you, about us and what happened. I was the one hesitant to come and see you, but he urged me and said we needed this conversation to happen." answered Minhyuk

"He hates me then?" said Bin.

"No. He actually wanted me to give you his thanks. For leaving me because he got the chance to meet and be with me" Bin dropped his mouth at that and Minhyuk laughed, "His words, not mine." Bin held his chest and said 'ouch' teasingly. He's surprised he's already come to terms with this, it hurts because earlier he was hopeful this meeting would end up well and them being together again, but seeing Minhyuk happy and well comforted him and that is enough to make him smile as he gazed at Minhyuk lovingly.

"Uhm. but I actually promised Min i won't take long in meeting you so," Minhyuk trailed..

"oh yeah.. I'm sorry for keeping you out too long." Bin said. Minhyuk looked like he wants to say something but is holding back so Bin raised his eyebrows at him.

"Can i hug you one last time before I go?" Minhyuk said so softly, eyes on the ground, he bit his lips while waiting for an answer that never came. He thought Bin never heard him so he was just gonna let it go but when he looked up at Bin, he saw the man extending his arms to him. Minhyuk smiled and closed the distance between them.

There they are again, hugging under the stars but both with a lighter heart now. Bin held the back of Minhyuk's head and caressed it.

"I want my bestfriend back.." Minhyuk whispered in Bin's ears. Bin smiled and answered, "One day, Hyukie.. One day.." Bin broke the hug as he kissed Minhyuk's forehead lightly but full of affection, enclosing Minhyuk's face in his hands. After that moment, he smiled at Minhyuk and said, "but it's goodbye.. for now.."

Bin knew they couldn't go back to being bestfriends right then and there, not until he sorts out his feelings. He loves Minhyuk so much that he will let himself hurt for a bit.

_Are we over?  
Are we just friends?  
I'm hurting so much right now.  
Honestly when I see you I still miss you  
but yeah, I'll say goodbye.  
I have a lot to say, but..  
Let's stop here._

He cried as he watched Minhyuk's back walking away from him and he stayed there watching until he's out of sight.

"As long as you're happy Hyuk.. As long as you're happy.."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this story.. i'm so sorry for not having a binhyuk endgame. icb i contributed to the bin/rocky tag here just to write something with them not ending up together.. well at least at the end of this story..;) 
> 
> anyways, it just happens, you know.. not all the person in your life who you thought would stay, stays, as Park Minhyuk says, "that's life". some just helps you learn lessons and be better for the person who's meant for you. 
> 
> i'm all for saving friendships if it can be saved and with no strings attached of course. let me know your thoughts. <3
> 
> i used the lyrics of **여기까지 (For Now) - Kwon Jin Ah LOVE Sam Kim** on the summary and the ending part. I love this song so much and I always think of Bin singing this whenever I hear it. It's such a bittersweet song.
> 
> ⭑ M&S 09.14 ☆ Let's support Bin & Sanha's Sub-unit debut on the 14th. I'm so excited!! the concept photos are so beautiful and sexy ㅠㅠ ㅠㅠ 
> 
> Bin's lipring and Sanha's tattoo. oof. <33333333333


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